Caught shoplifting stories

Added: Tevis Hodges - Date: 28.02.2022 07:39 - Views: 16866 - Clicks: 6960

A kid from school introduced me to the criminal act of stealing goods while pretending to be a customer, and he did so at the local supermarket. Like a regular little Jack Dawkins, he slipped a packet of lifesavers up his sleeve and dared me to do the same. And I did. And it was exhilarating.

Eventually, I woke up to myself and realized I was being a complete asshole, and I retired—undefeated—from the world of petty crime. I hate myself for this. I stole books. In my early teens I developed an affected interest in poetry and literature, so I stole books. Christ, I even took them from the public library. Who steals from a library?

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At the time I considered myself quite the Rimbaud, but I was just a pretentious, thieving little prick who sorely needed a kick in the arse. My kingdom for a time machine. One night a friend and I were wandering around looking for something to do. We stuck our head over a fence on the wrong side of town and saw an open garage with ten cases of beer on a table. The local bikers were gearing up for a little party, but they were nowhere in sight.

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I was drunk on warm beer every day after school for a month. This one straddles the diaphanous corner wall between vandalism, theft and general assholery. For a short time, the kid who urinated in the school library and I would go out at night with screwdrivers and steal hubcaps. Around this time I met a girl and fell in love, and she told me her dad had been furious for almost a month because someone had ripped the hubcaps off his Mercedes.

I used to nick dirty magazines by surreptitiously inserting them between the s of a newspaper. I got nailed doing this at the local mixed business deli when the shopkeeper called me Caught shoplifting stories, took the paper from my hands, removed the September issue of Penthouse and politely handed me back my paper. A kid I went to school with, Gary somebody, went into the local hunting store, slid a fishing rod down the leg of his pants and half up his shirt, and then walked out like he had a wooden leg.

Kudos, Gary. Every kid in town wanted a pair of those wrap around robot sunglasses, but who could afford them? Thieving prick bastard to the rescue. I nicked and sold so many pairs of these, and I spent the money on skateboard bits, candy, and whatever I could get the legal-drinking-age kids to buy me at the pub on Friday night.

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Like I said, I stole for the sake of stealing, and the 6-pack of Flying Lady golf balls I lifted from the local sport store is a solid testimony to that. The following day at school I knocked on the Principle Office door. He bought them on the spot and thanked me for thinking of him. What a despicable little bastard I was. Monster Children. Follow MC. up. Books Ugh.

Biker Beer One night a friend and I were wandering around looking for something to do. Hubcaps This one straddles the diaphanous corner wall between vandalism, theft and general assholery. Golf Balls Like I said, I stole for the sake of stealing, and the 6-pack of Flying Lady Caught shoplifting stories balls I lifted from the local sport store is a solid testimony to that. Backyard high jinks with the visionary Australian artist.

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Caught shoplifting stories

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This Security Guard Was Working At Target For 6 Years, Shares His Most Awkward Shoplifting Stories