Hit in the nuts stories

Added: Jes Fierro - Date: 07.10.2021 00:19 - Views: 31530 - Clicks: 3397

Much like sleepless nights and being touched by what always seem to be the stickiest hands all the time why does it seem like kids always just finished a meal at Shoneys?

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This, of course, is not news: Everything about little kids, from their flailing limbs to their flung toys are pretty much crotch level. Combine that with developing motor functions and senses of humor and your nethers are in the hot zone. Like these eleven tales of testicular woe.

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He and his wife came over to visit one day, and the baby — a little boy — was strapped to his chest in a baby carrier. The carrier seemed low, I remember thinking that. At one point, I was talking to my friend face-to-face. During the conversation, his son started squirming and kicked me right in the balls without warning. It was like releasing a wind up toy. I think his son was about 20 pounds.

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I dropped. He cracked up. So did my wife. I forget how old my son was, but we were at one of his games, and I stepped in to be the third base coach. Sure enough, he lined one down left and it hit me percent square. I know I fell to the ground.

There was a mixture of laughter and gasps from everywhere. My son was Luke Skywalker. And he used the force…of a lightsaber right to my groin. It was a pretty epic duel, right Hit in the nuts stories until he swung for my Dark Side. The shaft of the lightsaber sort of hit me across the um, grundle area, so at least it was spread out, but it was still enough to call timeout.

It was a medium-sized one with a camera. It was actually really sweet. Of course, he wanted to take some overhead pictures, so my wife and I laid down outside and he sent it up above us. It was like an arcade claw machine — he lost control and the thing just plummeted straight at my nuts. And, even though it only weighed, like, three pounds, it fell hard. They loved it, especially the part where he smacks the tetherball around over and over.

So, I built a tetherball pole near the driveway as a surprise. My son and his friends loved it. One day, I decided to jump in — I remember being pretty good at tetherball back in the day. We got into it, and I guess I underestimated how much practice time my son had put in, because he schooled me.

And, to cap it off, the ball spun back around and tagged me in the sack twice. The first time was nothing, but the second time came out of nowhere and completely ruined me. He would practice by shooting styrofoam cups off of this little target wall he set up, and he got really good.

He and his brother would have Nerf battles all the time, and I always told them never to aim for the face. It was one of those giant arrows, too. They both thought it was hilarious, but I almost threw up. Half from the pain, half from the shock. My son opened the car door right into my nuts.

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I forget where we were going, but it must have been somewhere fun. He was super excited and just ran out to the car, swung open the door, and wham! I was following him to make sure he got into the car safely, and I paid for it with a Barney-colored bruise.

One time she needed a bath. So, I helped my son set her up in the tub, and then let him to the dirty work. He was doing a great job until Brownie started squirming, and eventually just bouncing around everywhere. It hurt pretty bad but, to be honest, the laughing my son did made the pain worth it.

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Even if it was at my expense. Three swings, a slide, a mini jungle gym — the works, really. I was pushing my son on the swing one time, and he was starting to get the hang of kicking his legs. So he would kick them out in front when he went forward, and hook them backward when he went back. It was probably partly his feet, and partly the seat of the swing, actually.

Whatever it was, it knocked me to the ground. Happy ending, though — he stopped swinging and ran over to check on me right away. That made me smile. Even though I was probably in tears.

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Hit in the nuts stories

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