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Adaeze Chiwoko shares her story of how she and her husband made a fresh start after he was unfaithful. A mum-of-three has shared her story of how finding out her husband was cheating was the making of their marriage. Adaeze Chiwoko, 40, now I cheated on my husband stories as a relationship coach after reconciling and overcoming infidelity in her own relationship of now years. Adaeze, who met her husband Joseph in a Manchester nightclub, experienced pent up anger in the marriage when she became pregnant with their second. She later found texts on his phone from another woman after having a gut feeling he was being unfaithful, and kicked him out of the family home.
Here, Adaeze tells her tale in the first person to The Mirror of how the pair managed to make a fresh start, and how she hopes other struggling couples can do the same. There was the undeniable proof the man I loved was cheating on me. Fury rising, I turned on him, ordering my husband of four years out of the house and out of my life. As the door slammed, I fell to the floor sobbing. My world was shattered. I had no idea this would be the moment that changed our marriage for the better. I met Joseph in a club in Manchester in September He was quiet and shy, a real gentleman, and we happily dated for four years.
He made me feel like the only woman in the world. In summer I became pregnant. We were shocked but loved each other and had talked about marriage, so tied the knot with a big African wedding that October. As I walked down the aisle and Joseph saw me, he began to cry. Saying our vows — for better, for worse, until death do us part — were so important to both of us.
We intended to keep these promises.
Our son Joshua was born just five months later, and our new family life was far from a fairy tale. But there were many rows. I felt angry and frustrated. Our sex life dwindled rather than stopped completely. Then, in autumnwhen I was pregnant again, I felt something change. Suddenly we were having horrible arguments every day, fighting about him being out all the time, and me asking too many questions.
When Joseph was glued to his phone, I knew something was going on. My mum told me to give him the benefit of the doubt. So for a year, while I was juggling our second baby and a toddler, I waited until I had proof. Despite loving his two children, I saw Joseph become withdrawn and depressed, losing weight and looking exhausted.
We were rarely intimate any more. Finally, in Decemberafter a year of suspicion and worry, I bit the bullet. He passed me his phone so I could get the and I dashed downstairs. Quickly scrolling through, I saw one incriminating text message after the next.
They were romantic, saying how much they cared about each other, and making plans to meet. Without thinking, I called the and furiously confronted the woman who answered. I was livid. Joseph had. Next, I turned on him. Realising what was happening, he had come to find me. I was so angry, I told him to get out. As the front door closed behind him, I was a mess. The man I loved had cheated on me. We had a I cheated on my husband stories and a baby — how could he do this to us? I went through that Christmas without him, sure that our marriage was over.
For months we only spoke to make arrangements for him to see the children. It hurt hearing his voice, but the kids came first. Then, in the spring, I had a surprising phone call. It was a counsellor that Joseph had turned to for help. As soon as I heard that, my heart knew it was true.
In those months apart my anger had calmed enough for me to think maybe we could get through this. The next day Joseph asked if he could meet me and my parents. I decided to give him that chance — but on one condition. We were going to start again from scratch. So, for the first time, we were clear about what we needed from each other.
Absolute honesty was essential. We needed to put each other first, listen to the other, and create a peaceful home. We wrote it all in a marriage contract and ed it. That piece of paper became the bedrock of our new life together. It was hard work. That meant humbling himself. Whenever I needed to ask about the infidelity, he would go over it with me. He just listened and supported me. After a year I felt our strategy was working for us, and after another six months I could look back on that time without any emotional pain. We were also blessed with a third child, which brought us closer together.
I know some people say, once a cheater always a cheater. That a woman is weak for staying with someone who cheats. But we are proof there is a way back after infidelity. As well as being dad to our three sons Joshua, now 14, Joseph, 11 and Jude, 10, Joseph is my best friend, my hero and my rock.
Get the latest updates from across Greater Manchester direct to your inbox with the free MEN newsletter. You can up very simply by following the instructions here. We have date nights and weekends away. We have gratitude for our happiness and I cheated on my husband stories work at it. We regularly talk about our marriage contract. One day in — after checking with Joseph first — I decided to make a Facebook video about his infidelity and how we had overcome it. I wanted to share my story to give others hope, that if both sides work at it you can get through it.
So I became a relationship coach, helping others through my company, Marriage4Real. It meant the opportunity to start afresh. We had the chance to build an incredible marriage, one that I am grateful for every day. By Saffron Otter Search and Trends writer. Subscribe We use your -up to provide content in ways you've consented to and to improve our understanding of you. This may include adverts from us and 3rd parties based on our understanding.
You can unsubscribe at any time. More info. Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice. Their sex life dwindled and they suddenly went to having tense arguments every day.
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Why I Cheated on My Husband (And Never Told)